Hope's Haven: Owning your guilty pleasures
Ello, my lovelies.
I want to talk about trying too hard. Trying too hard to appear flawless or emotionally intriguing or dramatic on social media or trying too hard to impress the rest of the world and not just the people who matter. I think I’ve mentioned this more than once, so you’ll know that I’m not opposed to throwing in the odd pessimistic comment, but y’all, we never know how long we’ve got. So, making a huuuuuge effort to tailor our lives to be viewed as strictly poetic or artistic or edgy or indie or excruciatingly unique and not ourselves at all is just plain dumb.
Let’s start by mentioning the oh so taboo topic of what’s hot n what’s not. I’m not entirely sure who decides what’s mainstream and why it’s considered the worst possible thing to be into, but when I find out who it is, I’d like to have a word. Since WHEN was Troy Bolton’s iconic ballad of ‘Bet on It’ so, so embarrassing to know all the words to? And WHY is it considered a cardinal sin to enjoy a cheesy night out and post horrendous singing videos to social media?
In a world where we all seem to be striving to be so unbelievably unique that we can never possibly really connect with or understand anyone, we’ve developed a weird aversion to anything collectively agreed to be popular. Whenever anyone outwardly likes something ‘popular’, it is done definitively and with purpose. You exclaim an interest in what’s mainstream, not because you actually like it, which defeats the whole object of liking things, but in order to maintain your outward appearance of cool, calm, collected and incredibly interesting just with a dash of cheesy and cheap.
FRIZZ’s beloved creator, Rosie Smith, is a huge fan of all things hair crimping and Trolls, which makes her an absolute icon. I’m lucky enough to have sourced a direct quote from a text convo we had a couple months back.
Instead of shunning the High School Musical, the Pixar and the girl bands, why don’t we own it?
This being said, when we do decide that actually ‘Air Hostess’ is an absolute banger (especially after a couple vodka oranges), this is a beautiful way that human beings join forces. From dancing with strangers at 90s club nights, commenting ‘yas’ on random renditions of Disney tracks on social media and making new pals. If this is why some people follow a mainstream trend, I think that’s beautiful. People coming together over shared interests is always fab, no matter how mundane or ‘mainstream’ other people deem the subject. If you’re following a trend cos you actually like it and have decided that no matter who says that it’s dumb or lame you’re going to like it anyway, that’s even better.
Now, let’s chat about social media. Filters, adjustments, blocked views, glancing and perusing. That’s not real life. It’s not totally true that people don’t post their flaws or faults online, but when they do, it’s usually from a poetic, romantic or artistic angle. Take some examples: “look, I’ve posted a single tear to Snapchat with no context so people will be message me and be interested in my sadness”; “oh check out this artsy drawing I or someone else has drawn that sums up my current emotional predicament or shortcoming, which allows me to show I have flaws without upsetting the aesthetic of my Instagram feed”; “ah all of my tagged photos have been removed as well as my photos pre-2015, now I just post the mildly cute ones when I choose to, to show I’m still human and vulnerable but in a controlled way.” See? Measured and meticulous, and making sure no one ever knows what your true feelings or failures are, just the vanilla ones that don’t affect you long-term. I can’t stress enough how fake this is. We’ve got to accept that social media is a part of who we are as a society now, you really can’t escape it. BUT, that doesn’t mean your every move has to be determined by who’s looking.
Instead of boosting filters and cropping out the less attractive sections of life, just live it. In any way that makes you happy.
Lots of love and a recommendation to watch Shark Tale right now, from H x x x x