Hope's Haven: New year, same me, more love
Bonjour, and a very very happy new year to y’all!
I wrote a piece for my Tumblr page last year (I know, very 2010) about things to do in 2018. It got over 14,000 notes (go me) and when I re-read it at the end of 2018 I realised I had done sweet fuck all from that list. It included things like “go for a run” and “drink 8 cups of water a day” and “keep a journal” and “do yoga”. I’m not saying that I NEVER did those things, I’m just saying on a weekly basis I did between 0 and 1.
The stresses of life are huuuuuuge, and I’m not about to add 20 things to my daily to do list just cos a self-help book told me to. Again, not saying self-help books aren’t great, because they sure are. Giving you quotes to remember and things to consider, as well as a great pass-time for the bus and a mood booster for your day. All I’m saying is that often, we focus too much on what these social media lists and preachy books are telling us to do.
This year, I decided to write another Tumblr piece (yes I am stuck in 2009, let me live) that was slightly more achievable. It didn’t tell you what to actively do on a daily basis but instead some ways of living that tend to improve your general outlook on the world.
For those struggling with mental health, if you’re feeling heavy, try and brush your teeth and hair and get up and walk around your room. You could maybe even try to take a shower, as things tend to seem slightly brighter when you’re clean. You don’t have to achieve anything else that day, and definitely don’t feel guilt for having a day to curl up. And for those who often need some head space, it’s okay to go awol every now and then. If you need to throw your phone across the room and not look at it for a week, that’s fine. What I would say, is remember that those who care about you might worry, so a heads up when you need some air might be nice.
Get off that high horse and stop thinking that you’re better than everyone else. If someone really gets down to Disney films or absolutely adores mainstream music, let them. Or if someone thinks that the only way they can possibly post an Instagram photo is if it’s got a certain filter on it, let them. All I’m saying is let people like what they like - you don’t have to like it too but bringing people down because of what makes them happy is a nasty way to behave. Give people a break, cos constantly feeling as though our actions are being judged makes us even harder on ourselves. We make mistakes as a part of daily life but holding on to guilt twists these simply human actions into monstrosities that play on our minds. Be supportive and constructive rather than judgemental and harsh, both with yourself and others.
I’ve had friendships come and go but one thing that I pride myself on is that I don’t burn bridges. Often the friendship aspect of a relationship has reached its end, but being able to wish someone a happy birthday after a fall out is a rare and lovely thing. Try and reach out to people you feel as though you’ve lost and see what happens cos the feeling of reconnecting with an old friend is nothing short of magical.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Just because your friends seem to have a plan, doesn’t mean you have to too. You don’t have to have it all figured out now. Go to interviews, apply for school, take a month off to sort things out. Plans change and so do you, so just make sure you’re moving forward not backwards, however fast or slow that may be.
Last but not least, enjoy it. The years roll around so quickly, make sure you actually enjoy this one.
It’s not much but it’s something. A few things to consider when things get heavy or life gets confusing. On the surface, most people seem to be heading in a forward direction but that’s not always true. Always ask how people are because a simple “how you doing today?” could be the difference between falling and remaining afloat.
You’re important and worth so so much.
Love always, H x x x x